Saturday, December 21, 2013

Just a Saturday Post

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"First Day Of My Life"


This is the first day of my life
Swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don't know where I am
I don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
And you said "this is the first day of my life
I'm glad I didn't die before I met you
But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy"

So if you want to be with me
With these things there's no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me 

I listened to this song right after hearing about Ned Vizzini's death. If you haven't heard about it yet, well, you're hearing it now.
Honestly, I didn't believe it. I saw it randomly on Twitter. My eyes kind of skimmed over it and it took me a second. But then I was like-
No. Freaking. Way.
So I went back to find the tweet. Saw the link. Clicked it. Read the article. Looked it up on Google. Found three more articles. Checked out some of the tweets mentioned there- People like Libba Bray and Sarah Dessen. And the whole time I'm like, what the flup?
I'm not really sure what I'm feeling right now at all. I've only read It's Kind of  a Funny Story, and I read it back in middle school. It was one of the first books I read that involved suicide and depression and such. I liked it at the time, but I didn't fully appreciate it til I reread it a couple years ago. I think I've read it about three times now? And I've gone back to that last page so many times. I haven't looked at it (or even thought about it...) recently, but when I saw that tweet... Oh my God.
Around this time last year I was trying to convince my boyfriend to read IKoaFS. He almost did, but he ended up reading Gone instead.
And I'm just thinking.
It's surreal.
He wrote a book about calling for help and then... he commits suicide? I'm confused. Really, I am. I feel a little betrayed almost. I can't even imagine how his family is taking it. He had a wife and a two-year-old kid...
It's just crazy. And I'm still having a hard time believing it.

LA Times (first article I read about it
Entertainment Weekly
Hollywood Reporter
USA Today

The song I'm listening to while I type this:

Whistle For The Choir


Well it's a big big city and it's always the same
Can never be too pretty tell me your name
Is it out of line if I were simply bold to say "Would you be mine"?

Because I may be a beggar and you may be the queen
I know I may be on a downer I'm still ready to dream
Though it's 3 o'clock, the time is just the time it takes for you to talk.

So if you're lonely why'd you say you're not lonely
Oh you're a silly girl, I know I hurt it so
It's just like you to come
And go you know me no you don't even know me
You're so sweet to try, oh my, you caught my eye,
A girl like you's just irresistible

Well it's a big, big city and the lights are all out
But it's as much as I can do you know to figure you out
And I must confess, my heart's in broken pieces
And my head's a mess
And it's 4 in the morning, and I'm walking along
Beside the ghost of every drinker here who has ever done wrong
And it's you, woo hoo
That's got me going crazy for the things you do

So if you're crazy, I don't care, you amaze me
Oh you're a stupid girl, oh me, oh my, you talk
I die, you smile, you laugh, I cry
And only, a girl like you could be lonely
And it's a crying shame, if you would think the same
A boy like me's just irresistible

So if you're lonely, why'd you say you're not lonely
Oh you're a silly girl, I know I hurt it so
It's just like you to come and go
And know me, no you don't even know me
You're so sweet to try oh my, you caught my eye
A girl like you's just irresistible 

Right now I'm into the Indie genre- both music and books, apparently. I've been in love with my 2000s Indie radio on Pandora for months now. That's where these two songs came from. I love that they sound AMAZING and the lyrics are so so great

As for the books, I noticed that some of the self-published authors I've been reading are pretty great. My prime example right now is Flawless by Jennifer McGill-Sadera. That is one of my top three favorite books right now. Top. Three. I'm not even kidding. I'm holding it at the same level as The Art of Racing in the Rain and Marley and Me. I haven't had a chance to talk too much about those books, but I'll leave it at this: LIFE-CHANGING.
These three books... as inspirational and heartbreaking as it gets. For me, anyways. I read them at exactly the right time for them to mean everything to me.

And here's my connection from Ned Vizzini's suicide to indie authors:
I read Flawless a couple weeks ago, and I'm still reeling. Suicide was one of the issues in that book. And Ned Vizzini jumped off a building yesterday. It's mentioned outright in one of the articles and hinted at in a couple of the others. All I'm thinking? Oh. My. Freakin. God. I love reading books about suicide. It's heartbreaking and true and it's a real issue. Clearly. And it's so sad to think about how many people succumb to it. All over the news, this star died, that musician overdosed, an author jumped off a building....

I wish he hadn't. I feel like it mars the message he tried to sent with IKoaFS. But even so, I hope no one ever forgets it. I hope that more people read about it. Anyone can be in this situation. Anyone. Even a beloved YA author with a family.

I guess what I wonder is: was he thinking about the irony when he decided to do this yesterday?

I feel awful for saying that. Because it's one thing asking that when it's a book or movie. But it's another thing entirely when it really happened.
But still, I wonder.

And I digress.

I'm finally on break, so I have two weeks to catch up on my reading! I've got a bunch of reviews coming up. I'm even going to attempt the impossible- but I'll let you know about that after I succeed!

I'm just so glad to be out of school. I seriously need to relax. And reading and reviewing may be stressful at times, but it's the best thing. I love it so much.

Right now I've got 71 GFC followers, which is 6 more than I had when I returned back in September!
I also have 59 followers on Bloglovin', and a few feedreaders, but no actual email subscribers. I know I haven't been out there in the blogging community, so I'm surprised people have even stumbled across my blog. Sure, I've got my blog tours, but there are so many stops each day, if you check out more than one, it's random. And Writer Person doesn't stand out too much, haha.

I'm hoping that the New Year will bring about some new blog friends. It's certainly bringing about a lot of new books! So I'm excited. And I'll get into more about that later.

I'm sorry if I depressed you. But life does go on.
Hope you all have a good rest of the day. Forget about this post if it helps.


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