So Christmas has come upon us again...
I don't know what it is, but I just haven't felt the Christmas spirit these last few years. Which is sad because I'm still so young. Why am I so jaded?
I still enjoy the songs and the movies and the food and such. But it's different when you don't really spend it with your family.
I still have my parents and sister, of course.
But I remember years in a row where I'd spend Christmas Eve with my dad's side and all my cousins and aunts and uncles would be there. And we'd eat and watch movies and play loteria and just have a good time.
And then on Christmas Day I'd spend the day with my mom's side and I would play video games with my uncles (one who's 7 years older, another who's 9 years older). At the time I only had one cousin, and she didn't always spend Christmas with us because her parents are divorced. But even though that side was smaller, I still had fun.
Now it seems like everyone's grown up and moved away.
Am I the only one feeling that?
But even so. I still like Christmas. Couple weeks off, get to watch movies and sing songs. I used to love going Christmas shopping with my mom, but I was so dang busy this year, I could barely do that.
I know this seems really depressing. But there is a good point to this.
And the point is: enjoy what you have.
I don't feel like I have all that much, because I keep comparing it to when I was younger. Surely things must have been better then, right?
But even if it was, that doesn't mean that now isn't good, too. I still love my family, immediate and extended. I have an amazing boyfriend. I wish I could see him on Christmas, but such is life. The fact of the matter is, I still have him. I have some pretty good friends, too. I don't hang out with them too much. But when I do see them, it's great.
I have a lot to look forward to. And I'm sure, when you really think about it, so do you.
I can understand why some people get really depressed around this time of year. I wonder what it was that finally pushed Ned Vizzini off the edge. I wonder how many others have jumped for the same reason.
I'm not saying that a lame Christmas post will help anybody, but if it does...
I hope you enjoy your Christmas.
And if you don't celebrate that, enjoy your day anyway.
There's always something to look forward to.
And I know I'm only describing the secular view of Christmas. Honestly, that's the only take I'm truly comfortable with discussing. A couple weeks ago, I was at a Bible Club meeting because I'm covering the club for the yearbook. They were discussing Christmas and what it means and why it's in December, when Jesus was probably born in late summer. Or, as my pastor hypothesized, late October. While the Bible Club teacher was explaining, he made the comment that Christmas is in December to distract from a pagan holiday. He did not say which pagan holiday because of "mixed company."
Was he talking about me?
I seemed to be the only one out of the ordinary in there. And I still have no idea what he meant by that. I may not have been part of the club, but I was still interested. I'm not an atheist or anything.
But that comment certainly made me feel unwelcome and because of that, I feel like a hypocrite and a fake. And I won't talk religion until I feel a little more sure about what it is I believe.
As a side note:
I don't know how many of you have seen my Sunday questions, or if anybody has seen them at all, or if anybody actually gives a damn (yes, the irony).
But whatever the case is, I'm changing the name to Wolfie's Wonderings because, well, it has a better ring to it. And it doesn't necessarily HAVE to be about religion. But since that's what most of my wonderings are, it might be. Consider yourself warned.
But you're welcome to leave any sort of comment you want. I promise I won't be offended. I hope I don't offend you guys, but, well. This is my blog *shrug*