Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Living Life Gets Hard to Do

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Okay, so that may not have been an appropriate title for this post.
Partially because of the fact that I'm very sad, upset, annoyed, angry, confused.
But the title actually came from one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists.
Sunday Morning by Maroon 5.
Amazing song that I've been listening to recently.
Between that and my Antler Philosophy (will explain later), I've been working through the feelings listed above.
Which brings me to my next point.
Why am I feeling like this?
Well, it started out with this crazy obsession that's been going on for two years....
Vampire Academy. Fell in love with it. Absolutely. With the story, the characters, everything.
Frostbite. Holy cow. That's when I started seeing Richelle Mead's genius.
Shadow Kiss. Best author ever. Loved the ending. Tragic, sure. But left tons of possibilities.
Blood Promise. Amazing. Sure, I was annoyed/ pissed of at Dimitri. And definitely by Rose at some points. And the ending was great. Til the *letter*. Which you don't know about and I won't tell you about. But it changes everything. Now, I see the genius behind this. Tons of drama and such in the future. And I was cool with that. Until...
Spirit Bound. Now, it was awesome. Amazing. The ending left thousands of possibilities. Anything could have happened. Anything. But during the story, I had one problem, and one problem only (besides the *accusation*): Dimitri.
And I was over him. Me, as the reader. He had gone to far and I moved on.
To Adrian.
I had already liked him. Had liked him since he first showed up. And in Spirit Bound, I grew to love him. Because Dimitri was now out of the way. Adrian was everything and the only thing for me.
Obviously not for Rose.
Last Sacrifice.
Wanna guess who she chooses?
I don't want to outright tell you. I hate spoiling stuff. But if you happen to guess, I'm not giving much away. Am I?
But the point is: Who she chooses.
It destroyed me. Tore me to pieces. I literally almost cried. I couldn't believe it. Not Richelle Mead. She couldn't be sucked into the world of happy endings.
And though there were still a lot of lose ends *ahem.* *Adrian.*, it was basically a happy ending.
For everyone except for:
Guess who.
So, now I'm torn. Brokenhearted. Richelle Mead. My favorite vampire author ever. Or author, period.
And she resorted to the happiest happy ending you can get.
Stupid hot Russian Dimitri.
No, I don't mean that. I guess there was a point when I thought he was awesome. I still do.
Kinda. Not really.
I'm too hurt to think very clearly.
My Antler Philosophy isn't going so well.
Speaking of, I should tell you about it. Maybe it'll distract me and activate its powers or something.
So, I have these Antlers. You know, the ones they usually sell during Christmas time. So people can get into the Holiday Season and whatnot. Well, I've got one of those.
I've had it for a while. But I've started wearing it recently.
And I came up with this Philosophy.
You can never be anything but happy while wearing these Antlers.
Well, I'm wearing them, and have been wearing them for an hour.
They have not been making me overly happy. It's always worked before.
But I think my excitement over Last Sacrifice helped its Powers.
Now that I'm disappointed by it, the Powers are as Strong.
So I'm giving myself a break from VA. My obsession that I've held onto for two years.
I need it. Too many emotions. Too many attachments. One hundred pages before it ended (around 460), my heart wasn't into it anymore. She has chosen. And I couldn't believe it.
And my reaction was not just emotional like I expected it might be.
No, I had a slight headache. My heart was in physical pain. And I was nauseous. Horribly so. It almost hurt to continue. Because I knew there wasn't going to be some surprise ending. I knew how it was going to end. I figured had out all of the mysteries by that point.
No surprises.
But I think this is what hurt the most:
Richelle Mead took my Plan. She has an original guy. Thrust another one in. One who undoubtedly loved Rose. But one that she would have trouble loving back because of someone *cough.*
And then he would be thrown away, either through compassionate or cruel means.
And she would go back to the original guy.
Because the second guy never mattered.
He was just a tool used to make your writing a bit more interesting.
Now I have no idea how Richelle Mead came up with Adrian, or how she figured she would use him. But with my own personal story, I knew it as soon as the idea formed. But I also knew that the second guy would it no way be capable of loving her.
Not because she isn't lovable. But because he's a jerk who should never have been an option anyway. Obviously, I gotta fix that. Guys like that are terribly annoying.
Anyways, on a break from VA. I'll let my friend borrow it. She'll be happy at least.
But I refuse to talk about it anymore.
Officially on break.
Good night.
PS. The reason I'm upset about the *happy ending* is because it reminds me of Twilight. And you all know how I feel about that. :/
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